Teal'c Versus the Brownies
by Noxbait
Summary: Set post Cold Lazarus. Teal'c wants to bake a batch of brownies. Doing battle with a Goa'uld might have been simpler.
1. The First Batch

**_This one's dedicated to my friend, the Doctor. Love you, Pond :) _**

* * *

**The First Batch**

"Do you have a teaspoon?"

When Jack picked up his phone as he was heading outside to mow his lawn, the last thing he ever dreamed he would hear was a request for a teaspoon. Mystified, but amused, Jack leaned against the counter and asked, "Cooking are we?"

"Baking actually. Do you?"

_Someone sounded stressed._

"I'm sure I do." Jack answered, "You don't?"

"If I had one would I be calling you?"

"I doubt it."

"I'm sure one came with the set, but it's missing."

"And you're _desperate_ for a teaspoon?"

"_Yes._ Teal'c! Wait…"

Jack smiled as Daniel's voice took on a panicked quality and seemed just a bit further away as he was talking to Teal'c.

"No, don't…"

"I believe it called for two eggs, Daniel Jackson." Jack could just barely hear Teal'c's deep voice in the background.

"Yes, yes it did," Daniel sounded resigned, "but you have to crack the shells first, Teal'c. You don't just throw the whole egg in there! Now you're gonna have to pick out all of the shell."

"I do not understand."

"Stop stirring!" Daniel's voice was suddenly closer to the phone, "Jack, if it isn't too much trouble could you please bring us a teaspoon?"

Even if it _had_ been too much trouble, by this point, Jack was far too interested in seeing exactly what sort of a mess Teal'c was creating to let the interruption in his plans bother him. The grass could wait. "Sure, I'll be right over. Need anything else?"

"Eggs."

The line went dead. Jack shook his head and grinned as he headed for his kitchen.

* * *

**_Earlier _**

It was just after nine in the morning when they walked into the kitchen, arms laden with supplies. Daniel spread the baking goods across the kitchen table while Teal'c set his bags down on the counter and began stocking the refrigerator. Looking around his kitchen, Daniel blew out a slow breath and wondered exactly what he had been thinking. What had he been thinking when he had agreed to bring an alien to his apartment in order to bake brownies?

"DanielJackson."

Teal'c's deep voice was suddenly close to his left shoulder and he jumped a bit. Looking up, Daniel asked, "Yes, Teal'c?"

"Is this an item which requires use of the cooling receptacle?"

It took a moment for Daniel's brain to process _cooling receptacle_ and translate it into refrigerator, then he nodded, "Yeah, the butter can go in the fridge for now. We'll need it in a few minutes."

"Very well."

Daniel lined up the sugar, flour, cocoa, and other supplies as he watched the Jaffa place the butter in the fridge. It had all started very simply. Captain Carter..._Sam,_ he corrected himself, had been chatting with another officer while standing in line in the mess. They had mentioned brownies and Teal'c had quickly become curious. Daniel joined Sam and Teal'c for lunch that day and found her trying to explain brownies to the alien soldier. Apparently, the Jaffa were not much for baking. As Sam tried to explain what a brownie was, Daniel attempted to translate and assist with determining a Jaffa equivalent. There didn't seem to be any equivalent. Jaffa ate mostly grains and meat pies. The concept of baking was completely foreign to Teal'c.

The fact that Teal'c had no concept of baking and seemed to be naturally curious led to their current situation. Teal'c had asked Captain Carter if she would teach him to bake a brownie and she had laughed. She didn't do much baking and admitted that her oven wasn't even hooked up. Daniel saw the disappointment on Teal'c's face. Obviously the alien warrior was genuinely eager to learn about baking. After Sam had left the table, the two men continued discussing food and traditions of Chulak and Earth. Teal'c had resubmitted his question and Daniel had decided that he could probably offer up his kitchen for a few hours to help the Jaffa to bake a brownie.

"Is the order of the food particles important for the creation of this brownie?" Teal'c asked, hands behind his back, leaning forward so his nose was level with the counter top, his eyes scanning the ingredients.

Daniel took a deep breath, feeling instantly and already out of his depth. He'd never baked anything in his entire life. Ever. But they'd bought a cook book at the book store on their way to the supermarket. The woman had been very helpful and insisted the book with the red checked cover was the best one. Having no grounds to disagree, Daniel had bought it.

He took it straight into the supermarket with them and they poured over the ingredient list for the _Best Ever Brownies_ while they stood in the baking aisle. It took nearly an hour for them to find everything they needed. Teal'c was completely enthralled by the grocery store and asked about a million questions along the way. Daniel wasn't at all familiar with the baking aisle and wasn't sure where things were. Their heads together, Daniel and Teal'c had studied the recipe carefully, then scoured the aisles until they found everything they needed.

"Uh, well, I don't think they have to be lined up right now in a specific order." He stared at the line of ingredients and wondered what he'd gotten himself into. He looked at the recipe carefully, "I think we have to put them into the bowl in order, though."

"I see." Teal'c stood up, staring at the ingredients with the same degree of healthy fear that Daniel was exhibiting.

Teal'c looked over at the other man and waited. This entire situation was very unusual. He was a warrior. A man who once served a parasitic race which enslaved millions of innocent victims across the stars. Teal'c had never set foot in the room of food preparations. That was the realm of women. A great warrior would not be caught in such a room. Ever. The food preparation was done in an out building and not spoken of.

But now, now that he had renounced his former life, Teal'c was finding himself curious about many things. The Tau'ri did their food preparations in a room known as a _kitchen._ These kitchens were a prominent part of the Tau'ri home. Those from Earth obviously placed a great deal of importance on the task of eating. For the Jaffa, food was a tool. _A tool to keep one strong._ It was simply there. It was nothing that was celebrated, nothing that was embellished.

"I guess we could just get started." Daniel finally said, looking up from the recipe. It was simple. It was straightforward. It was written out in plain, clear English. So why was he feeling like he was staring at something written in hieroglyphs? _Actually, hieroglyphs would be easier to understand._

"Indeed."

Daniel nodded, realizing he was the only one who had even half an idea what he was doing. "Hand me that bowl."

Teal'c handed him the bowl and read over his shoulder. "Should we not grease the pan?"

"Sure. You can use the butter, just smear it on the pan." Daniel nodded, reading ahead. First step, he needed to melt the butter in the bowl. Then came the sugar and cocoa. Nothing too difficult. He measured the butter and dropped it into the bowl, putting it in the microwave and starting to feel better. What had he been worried about? People baked all the time. Nothing to it.

A crash rang out behind him and Daniel whirled to see Teal'c standing helplessly beside the counter, both hands completely slathered in butter. The glass pan was in a few dozen pieces on the floor in front of him. Daniel blinked at the mess, realizing that Teal'c had evidently greased the pan. _Inside and out_. No wonder he had dropped it.

"I extend my apologies for the damage to your pan, Daniel Jackson."

"Um, thanks, Teal'c. It's not a big deal. It was just something Dr. Frasier had given me."

"I must extend my apologies to Dr. Frasier."

"No, I'm sure it's fine." Daniel leaned down and carefully picked up a few pieces. "She just gave me a bunch of her old dishes when I moved in. She's got new stuff, it was just a hand me down."

"A hand me down?" Teal'c inquired, leaning down to pick up some pieces. He failed continually as his hands were slick with butter.

"Teal'c, why don't you wash your hands. You might slice your finger if your hand slips on the glass." Teal'c rose to wash his hands and Daniel threw the pieces in the garbage. "Yes, a hand me down. It's something that one person doesn't want or need any more so they hand it over to someone else."

"Why is it not called a _hand it over,_ then?"

Daniel smiled, "Well, I guess that would actually make some sense, wouldn't it?" He finished throwing out the pieces of the pan and washed the butter off his hands, "I believe the phrase came from the fact that the item tended to be an article of clothing that was handed down to a younger sibling."

"Are you Dr. Frasier's younger sibling?"

"No. Like I said, that phrase started out being used like that. Then it became common to use the phrase for other similar reasons."

"I see." Teal'c found it made very little sense to use a phrase meant for one specific thing for another. "I still regret that I have caused damage to your hand me down pan."

"It's ok. We can use a different pan. Look in the cupboard there. I know she gave me a metal pan too." Daniel said, realizing the microwave was still cooking and there were disconcerting snapping noises coming from it. He crossed the kitchen quickly and pulled the door open. The smell of something well and truly burned accosted his nose and he stared in dismay at the disaster in his microwave. He hadn't paid any attention to how long he had left the butter cooking, but clearly only a few seconds had been necessary.

"I believe we must cease our efforts."

Daniel turned from the disaster in his microwave to find Teal'c holding up the metal pan. "Why?"

"This pan does not fit the necessary dimensions indicated in the recipe. It is larger than indicated in the recipe. We will be unsuccessful in our efforts should we continue."

"No, it's ok. The brownie will just come out a bit thinner."

"It would be most unwise to deviate from the directions, DanielJackson."

Daniel started cleaning his microwave, "Teal'c, it will be fine. Trust me. The pan size doesn't matter. That's a negotiable part of the recipe. Just butter the _inside_ of the pan this time. Not the outside."

"Very well." Teal'c's voice indicated his disapproval with the plan.

* * *

The first batch lay in a sad grave in the garbage.

Daniel wasn't sure what had gone wrong with that batch. Something had gone very wrong with it though, and it had come out looking like a heavy black brick. Feeling Teal'c's disapproving presence looming over his shoulder as he stared down at it, Daniel was once again faced with the realization that he had no idea what he was doing.

"It was unwise to deviate from the directions."

Daniel looked up at Teal'c, then back at the brick. With a sigh, he put the empty pan on the counter. "Teal'c, the pan size doesn't matter. Honestly. It just changes how thick the brownies are."

"But would it not also affect the time required for the heating of the batter?" Teal'c inquired, hands clasped behind his back, a frown on his face as he stared at the brick in the trash.

He was right, of course. Turning back to the counter that was currently littered with opened baking supplies, Daniel stared at the recipe and realized Teal'c had a very good point. How was it that the _alien_ was right about the baking and he'd been wrong? Well, there was only one explanation as far as he could tell. He was nervous. Nervous about the baking and nervous about the Jaffa who stood beside him.

They had only been teammates for a few months now. While he was comfortable with Teal'c in general, and certainly trusted him completely when on a mission, Daniel had to admit to himself that to have the Jaffa over for a morning of baking brownies was stretching his comfort level. Although, it certainly wasn't the most terrifying thing he had done in his life.

He smiled and shrugged at the Jaffa. "I did tell you that I hadn't really ever done this, right?"

"You did inform me." Teal'c inclined his head and moved away from the garbage. They faced each other across the counter.

Daniel said, "We can adjust the baking time."

"This would be wise."

"So, you up for another batch?"

"I very much desire to taste this _brownie_ DanielJackson."

Daniel grinned, the Jaffa was so serious, but had an almost childlike eagerness. "Ok, let's start again."

"Indeed."

For several moments they worked in silence, each carrying out the tasks they had completed the first time. Daniel was taking his time with each step of the process. There was no way he wanted to mess up a second brownie. The silence was finally broken by Teal'c, "DanielJackson, we must make haste."

"What?" Daniel looked up in surprise. Did the Jaffa have somewhere he needed to be? "What do you mean?"

Teal'c passed the recipe over and said, "The recipe states that preparation time is 20 minutes. We will soon run out of time. Please mix the batter more quickly."

Laughing, Daniel shook his head, "No, it's ok, Teal'c. That just means a rough estimate of how long it should take to make the brownies up. It isn't a required time."

Teal'c gave him another disbelieving and disapproving look.

"Really. I'm sure people mix up the brownies much faster than 20 minutes." He stared at the mess all over his kitchen, "Considering neither of us has ever baked brownies before, I think it is understandable that we're taking longer."

It still didn't look like Teal'c was convinced.


	2. The Second Batch

The second batch joined the first in the garbage.

Daniel regretted not having bought more eggs. He'd had six in the fridge and figured that would be plenty. Not at the rate they were going.

The two men stood shoulder to shoulder staring down at the remains of their second brownie. Daniel had his arms folded across his chest and was chewing his lip, frowning and trying to figure out what on earth he had done wrong this time. Everything had seemed correct and he _knew_ it wasn't because it had taken them 25 minutes instead of 20 minutes to prepare the brownie. This time the brownie had been a pool of ooey gooeyness. It hadn't tasted too bad at all, Daniel reflected. But it had required a spoon and that just wasn't right.

He turned back to the counter and poured over the recipe again.

"DanielJackson."

"Hang on a second, Teal'c."

"Very well."

Daniel reviewed the recipe twice and still couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. They had followed it to the letter. It was a brownie recipe! He'd opened tomb doors that required painstakingly exact and intricate passwords entered using ancient symbols that had taken him days to translate. He'd figured out how to work the Stargate. This was a brownie recipe. Something a ten-year-old could throw together and so far they had royally ruined two brownies.

"DanielJackson."

He looked up with a sigh, "Yes, Teal'c?"

"I believe I am responsible for the failure of our brownies to achieve the correct consistency."

"Oh?"

Teal'c nodded. The Jaffa looked surprisingly guilty.

"What do you mean?" Daniel asked, amused.

Teal'c pointed across the counter and Daniel turned, jaw dropping. Teal'c said, "I offer my apologies, DanielJackson."

"You didn't add the flour?"

"Yes. I believe I failed to place the flour into the batter."

Daniel blew out a breath and smiled, "It's ok." He felt a bit better knowing that it hadn't been his fault. _This time_. He stared at Teal'c. "So. Do we try again?"

Teal'c nodded.

"Well, like they say, third times the charm." Daniel shrugged, "We've got the flour ready to go anyway."

Teal'c cast a suspicious glance around the room, "Why do they believe the third time is the charm? And who are they?"

Daniel pulled the eggs out of the refrigerator again and explained, "It's a figure of speech, Teal'c. It just means that if you don't succeed the first two times, you'll get it right the third time."

"I do not understand. Why, if you have failed twice before, would you believe you would get it correct the third time? I believe that the pattern established would indicate the opposite."

"I'm sure there are a lot of cases when it doesn't work the third time. I'm just hoping that we're going to get it right. I really am starting to get very hungry for this brownie."

"As am I." Teal'c nodded. Together, they worked on the third brownie, both paying excrutiatingly close attention to the recipe. Finally, Teal'c broke the silence, "DanielJackson, we are missing a utensil that is required for the successful completion of this baked good."

Daniel looked up, "What?"

"I do not see a teaspoon."

"Oh, I know. Dr. Frasier gave me the set and said a few things might be missing. I've never used them before." He looked up into Teal'c's disapproving eyes again and went on quickly, "I just used a regular spoon, they're the same size approximately."

"This recipe does not call for a regular spoon."

"I know. But when you don't have a teaspoon, you can just use a regular spoon."

"We must have a teaspoon." Teal'c said firmly.

Daniel stared at him for a moment, realizing that there would be no convincing him otherwise. Ok. Now what? Who was he going to call? He didn't know Dr. Frasier's number, Sam had made it clear she didn't do any baking. The only other person he actually knew and had a phone number for was Jack. Jack had been married. Surely he still had a set of measuring spoons.

"Ok, Teal'c. I'll give Jack a call and see if he can bring us one."

"Very well, DanielJackson." Teal'c had the eggs in his hands and his expression was more approving. "Shall I prepare the eggs this time?"

Daniel was already dialing and nodded distractedly, "Sure."

Teal'c carefully reviewed the recipe, then brought the eggs over to the bowl. The recipe called for two eggs. He pulled out one of the white spheroids and studied it carefully. He had seen such things on Chulak, but he had never touched them before. A bit of worry struck him as he studied the egg. Each time before, DanielJackson had dealt with the eggs while he had been involved in mixing together the dry ingredients in another bowl. Frowning, he decided there couldn't possibly be very much to it.

So he dropped the first egg into the batter. _Interesting_. The egg lay there in the pool of melted butter and sugar. Teal'c stared at it expectantly. Was it supposed to dissolve? To melt? Frowning, he smacked at it with the wooden spoon and discovered it cracked easily. _Ah_. Teal'c smiled, feeling very wise, and crushed the egg more thoroughly, listening to DanielJackson's conversation in the background as he added the second egg.

"Teal'c! Wait..."


	3. The Third Batch

Jack stood at the door, shopping bags in hand. Apparently, no one was going to let him in. He had knocked and called out a greeting, but from the sounds within Daniel's apartment, Jack was assuming that there was too much chaos going on inside for anyone to notice him. Hearing Teal'c's calm, but raised voice and Daniel's voice struggling for preeminence, he smiled to himself and leaned his ear against the door. He listened for a few minutes, trying not to laugh as he listened to Daniel explaining how to use eggs. From the sound of his voice, Jack got the distinct impression that Teal'c was just not getting it. Daniel's considerable patience seemed to nearly be reaching its end. Wondering how many times Daniel had been attempting to explain the concept, Jack tried the door and found it unlocked. You didn't really need to worry about security when you had a former First Prime in your apartment with you.

Walking into the kitchen, Jack stared in surprise at the mess in front of him. This was worse than he'd been expecting. The counter was covered with baking ingredients and mixing bowls, sticky spills and piles of sugar. Shaking his head, Jack walked into the melee. Teal'c was standing there, wearing a _Barbecue King_ apron covered with flour, looking confused and far from happy. Daniel didn't look any happier. Obviously, they hadn't been having the best of luck with their baking project.

"Hey guys!" Jack called out cheerfully.

"O'Neill." Teal'c said stoicly.

Jack wanted to smile, but forced himself not to. From the looks of his exasperated teammates; any attempts at levity would not be appreciated at this time. Daniel looked like he was ready to snap when he glanced up at Jack.

"Did you bring the eggs?"

Jack extended the bag. "Here ya go. Eggs and a teaspoon. Just like you ordered"

Daniel grabbed the bag and pulled the eggs out, pointedly presenting the teaspoon to Teal'c. "Here you go. A _real_ teaspoon."

Teal'c turned the small silver spoon over in his hand, carefully analyzing it to ensure it truly was a teaspoon. Daniel was busy with the eggs and Jack watched them with amusement, wondering why it seemed like the teaspoon was so very important. Surely Daniel had a regular spoon?

Remaining silent and trying to hide his amusement, Jack wandered around the kitchen, examining the mess around him. Carter had mentioned in passing that Teal'c had been interested in making a brownie, but she apparently hadn't known that the Jaffa had recruited Daniel for the project. Jack wished he'd been around for that conversation. The smell of something burned led him to the trash can where he was not entirely surprised to find the remains of a brownie. No wait, he leaned closer, _two_ brownies.

Eyebrows raised, he turned back to see how the third attempt was coming out. Daniel and Teal'c were working closely, heads together over the recipe, twin expressions of complete concentration and seriousness on their faces. With a grin, Jack simply pulled a can of Coke from another bag and headed for the living room.

* * *

Teal'c closed the oven door and stood back. Daniel took a deep breath. They exchanged weary but hopeful glances. Teal'c inclined his head slightly. "Third time is the charm, is it not?"

Daniel grinned, "If it's not, I'll take you to the bakery and buy you a brownie, ok?"

"Very well."

Glancing around the mess in his kitchen, Daniel frowned, seeing the bag on the counter. Teal'c already had popped the top on a Root Beer. "Did Jack leave?"

"Nope." Jack's voice called from the living room.

Daniel realized he could hear the sounds of some sporting event on the television and followed Teal'c into the other room. They found Jack comfortably settled on the couch, the remote resting on his chest, Coke in his hands. Daniel noticed with satisfaction that Jack had thoughtfully moved the Akkadian text and the set of canoptic jars from P73-T743 off the coffee table and to the piano before he put his shoes up on the table. _So he_ had_ been listening last week?_

"O'Neill."

"Teal'c." Jack looked up, "Pizza's on its way."

"Pizza?" Daniel sat down and tried to figure out what game Jack was watching this time. "You ordered pizza?"

"It's past lunch time, Daniel. Didn't sound like you two bakers were thinking lunch."

"Well, no, we were a bit busy." Daniel said, realizing he was actually starving.

"Yes. Busy. How goes it?" Jack asked, noting Teal'c's mildly annoyed expression. The Jaffa smoothed down his apron as he stood at the end of the couch staring at the television.

"We'll know in about thirty minutes." Daniel said, looking rather hopeless.

"Had a few bumps in the road I take it?"

"A few." Daniel exchanged a rueful look with Teal'c.

"From the smell of it, you may be on the right track now." Jack offered encouragingly.

"No." Daniel shook his head, leaning back against the couch. "It's smelled this good before."

"What's so hard about a brownie?" Jack asked in disbelief, regretting his words immediately when he found himself skewered with death glares from both sides. "Sorry! Sorry I asked."

Other than the sounds of the baseball game, silence reigned in the apartment until the pizza arrived. Jack was relieved that the pizza seemed to revitalize his teammates and lighten the mood. His only regret was having ordered only one large pizza. His eyes widened as he realized Teal'c had already eaten nearly half the pizza while he and Daniel were only starting on their second pieces. Jack was about to give in and call for another pizza when Teal'c interrupted his thoughts.

"Should we not invite CaptainCarter to your apartment for a slice of our brownie, DanielJackson?"

Jack and Daniel exchanged glances. Daniel reached for a napkin and said, "Maybe we should wait and see if the brownie actually turns out edible this time, Teal'c."

"I am certain we have found the charm this time." Teal'c informed them confidently, "CaptainCarter will be most displeased to miss an opportunity to sample a brownie. She stated she enjoyed such confections immensely."

Jack grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Well. If she enjoys such confections _immensely_, it would be rude of us not to invite her." He pulled out his cell phone and hit speed dial #3.


	4. The Edible Batch

Sam felt a flutter run through her system. She flipped her phone shut and stared at the wall. This was an interesting turn of events. A call from her CO on a Saturday. Certainly nothing she had expected when she was planning her day! How could she say no to homemade brownies, though? Hurrying to her closet, Sam hunted for something a bit more presentable than a ripped pair of jeans and a hideously ugly cat sweater. She had planned to spend the afternoon doing research, but if someone wanted to share brownies, she wasn't going to argue with them.

So she pulled on her nicest jeans and a simple but pretty blue top. Staring at herself in the mirror, Sam felt a pang of unease. She was completely at ease with the three men on a mission or at the SGC, but they hadn't really ever hung out much outside of work. The day Daniel had moved into his apartment, she and Janet had helped and enjoyed a pizza with the Colonel and Daniel, but that was about it. Teal'c hadn't been allowed off base at that time. The recent crisis with the crystal entity that had made itself into a frighteningly good copy of the Colonel provided Teal'c with his first opportunity to get out and see a bit of Earth. Of course, that hadn't exactly been a night on the town. She blew out a breath and gave her hair a quick brush. This might be very interesting.

It sounded like the Jaffa was getting another chance to experience Earth culture. Colonel O'Neill had said that Daniel and Teal'c were making brownies. Sam smiled, remembering how eager Teal'c had been to sample a brownie after they discussed them the other day in the commissary. She had felt bad to have to break it to him that she was not at all good at baking. She wondered how Daniel had wound up baking brownies with Teal'c. Baking seemed an unusual hobby for the archaeologist, but on the other hand, Sam really found that nothing surprised her about Daniel. If he turned around and delivered a baby someday, she wouldn't blink an eye.

Grabbing her keys, Sam hurried out the door. She would have been lying if she'd said she wasn't the tiniest bit nervous about hanging out with her team outside of work. They had become very comfortable around one another very quickly. Something that wasn't surprising given the life and death nature of their work. Even so, Sam found herself wondering what it was going to be like hanging out with the three men. She imagined her CO could be a great deal of fun outside of the 'office.' Also, a great deal of trouble. He had a wicked sense of humor and enjoyed bending rules. It would be interesting to see how he acted when he wasn't in charge of a mission.

But how relaxed would he be if his subordinate was around?

Heading toward Daniel's apartment, Sam wondered how Teal'c and Daniel would be when off duty. Neither one of them struck her as being particularly fun. In truth, Teal'c still kind of scared her at times. And Daniel...he was so incredibly brilliant and she already loved him like a brother, but she could almost believe it when the Colonel claimed that Daniel did nothing but teach himself new languages in his spare time. No matter how she looked at it, it just didn't seem like they were going to be a very lively bunch. Sam took a deep breath and decided she would go into it with the same perspective as she used when going to family reunions.

Be polite, get in and get out.

* * *

Sam heard them before she was even halfway up the staircase. Shouts and the sounds of people and things tumbling to the ground. Grabbing the railing in surprise at a particularly loud shout, Sam stared wide-eyed up at Daniel's door wondering what on earth was going on behind it. She almost turned right around and ran away. For a moment, all was quiet and Sam continued warily up to the door. About to knock on the door, she heard another shout and a terrible thud and her hand was on the doorknob, opening it before she even knew what she was doing.

Her jaw dropped.

They were wrestling in the living-room. Teal'c was standing in front of the window, staring down with the considering gaze of a parent watching their over-exuberant children at play. The Colonel had Daniel pinned down and looked rather triumphant about it. A beeping timer suddenly went off and Sam jumped in surprise. All three men looked up, saw her, and smiled.

"Hey, Carter! Just in time." The Colonel said. He had seemed about to say something else when he abruptly found himself thrown to the side and, a split second later, pinned to the ground in a much more painful hold than he'd been using on Daniel.

Daniel grinned triumphantly, "Yeah, Sam, just in time for you to watch me use your move."

"_Your move_?" Jack stared up at his very confused Captain as she stood speechless in the doorway. "You taught him this move?"

Sam nodded, still not quite able to speak. Teal'c crossed the room with a kind smile, a brief inclination of his head, and headed for the kitchen to address the brownies.

"Well, good job, Carter!"

"Thank you, sir." Sam smiled. She watched as Daniel helped pull the Colonel to his feet and they headed toward her. Before she could say anything else, they heard Teal'c's urgent voice from the kitchen. In fact, Sam thought there was a distinct edge of panic in his tone.

"DanielJackson, I believe the brownie has been sufficiently baked. Please come at once."

Daniel wasted no time; he rushed past Sam without a single word. She thought he looked oddly panicked as well. The Colonel rolled his eyes at her and said softly, "It's their third batch."

Sam's eyes widened and she stared out into the kitchen. Teal'c and Daniel were leaning over the open oven. The Jaffa had two ridiculously small purple potholders on his hands and Daniel inserted a toothpick into the brownie with all the precision of a brain surgeon. She whispered, "Third batch?"

The Colonel nodded, "I haven't dared ask. I checked the trash and all I know is one looks like a brick, one is a pool of goo and one didn't make it past the mixing stage. Something about the eggs…"

About to ask another question, Sam was interrupted by Teal'c's insistent voice.

"You must check one inch from the edge of the pan, DanielJackson." He held the recipe book for Daniel to see. "_One inch_."

Daniel tossed the first toothpick on the counter and pulled out a second one. He let it hover over the brownie, glancing up at Teal'c in expectation. Sam thought he looked a bit irritated with the Jaffa. Daniel usually loved teaching about Earth culture and practices, but perhaps baking three batches of brownies had spread his patience a bit thin. Teal'c nodded approvingly and Daniel inserted the toothpick. It came out perfectly clean.

Sam almost laughed out loud at the twin expressions of overjoyed relief on Daniel and Teal'c's faces. The Colonel snorted and rolled his eyes again. He said loudly, "So can we eat this one, boys?"

Daniel shot him a dirty look but Teal'c held the brownie up triumphantly. "We may now partake of this delicacy."

* * *

**Don't worry...there's another chapter to go. Some team-bonding ahead. :D Thanks for reading! **


	5. A Social Life

**Hi! So sorry for the long delay in this one. I meant to have it up last week but when I was about to post, I realized that I was just not satisfied with it. So I've worked on it all week, no lie, trying to get it right. ;) Hope you all like it!**

* * *

The brownie smelled amazing. _Looked_ amazing.

Jack hesitated to touch it. Even with a fork. Those brownie corpses in the trash warned him to use caution. Teal'c stared at his brownie, wearing an expression of deep introspection. Or terror. Yeah, maybe terror, Jack tilted his head consideringly. Sometimes the Jaffa could be difficult to read. Daniel had been talking a mile a minute about absolutely nothing with Carter and his eyes seemed to be unable to safely land on anything. Especially the brownie. Jack looked at Carter and saw her blue eyes were wide as she tried politely to keep up with Daniel. They were all gathered in the living room, each with a plate of brownie in front of them. Each apparently too afraid to try the thing.

"Don't let's stand on ceremony, people." Jack finally said after they'd been ignoring the brownie for nearly five minutes. He pushed around a bite of brownie on his plate, trying to make it look like he actually intended to be the first to sample it. "Dig in!"

Carter nodded enthusiastically and started pushing her brownie around in much the same fashion. Sneaky. He grinned and went through the motions of actually getting a bite on his fork. Daniel had shut up as soon as Jack had interrupted his monologue; Daniel's eyes finally made contact with his brownie. All the pushing around on the plate and stalling failed to produce the effect Jack wanted. No one took a bite. Teal'c still couldn't apparently find it in himself to lift his fork.

"Oh for crying out loud!" Jack finally exclaimed after another minute. He shoveled a bite into his mouth and almost didn't think he'd imagined Carter and Daniel's gasps of shock. He had the second bite on his fork before he even registered how delicious the first bite had been.

"Sir?" Carter asked. She still hesitated to lift her fork.

Coward. He thought smugly. He asked, "Yes?"

"How is it, sir?"

Refraining from giving anything away, he said, "Why don't you try it?" Carter narrowed her eyes a bit, apparently trying to decide if he liked it or not. Jack glanced at Daniel who was also analyzing him carefully, seeking any signs of deception. Teal'c looked about ready to cry. Not a good look on a Jaffa. Jack rolled his eyes, "It's great. Will you three just hurry up and eat some?"

Teal'c and Daniel released a collective sigh of relief and Carter quickly shoveled her bite into her mouth. A smile spread across her face and she nodded enthusiastically. "Guys, this is delicious!"

"Really?" Daniel asked hopefully.

"Yes, Daniel, really. " Jack said, waving his fork, "Will you just try it?"

Daniel quickly did so. "Wow. That is good, isn't it?"

"Yes." Carter nodded, "It's amazing. I love warm brownies."

Teal'c finally had gathered enough courage to sample his and he wore an expression of triumph. He said, "Although I have nothing to compare this to, I believe this is indeed a best ever brownie."

Jack nodded, "And it only took you three tries and all day to make it."

Daniel glared at him, but Teal'c nodded sagely and said, "Indeed. The third time was the charm."

For a few minutes, they ate in silence, then Carter asked, "How did you guys end up deciding to make a brownie today?"

"Well, Teal'c wanted to try some and I know homemade is better than store-bought," Daniel explained. "And I wasn't really doing anything today, so…" He shrugged. "That's what happened."

"And, since you've finally succeeded, may I ask what you two did wrong before?" Jack asked, knowing he might be getting himself into trouble with that question.

Daniel didn't look overly happy to explain, but he exchanged a glance with Teal'c and shrugged again. "Um, well we did a couple things wrong along the way."

"I take responsibility for several of the mishaps." Teal'c added. "It was I who made the first mistake. I greased the pan inappropriately."

Jack raised an eyebrow at Daniel who explained, "Uh, he buttered it inside and outside and dropped it. It broke in a bunch of pieces."

Carter burst out laughing and after a second, everyone smiled. Daniel went on, "We had to use a different pan, but I didn't adjust the baking time…"

"Hence the brick." Jack said.

"How'd you know?"

"I went through your trash."

Daniel looked like he thought that was about the creepiest thing he'd ever heard, but Teal'c went on, "For our second batch, I failed to add the flour."

"That would be the ooey gooey one…" Jack supplied.

"Yeah," Daniel nodded, "it tasted pretty good actually."

"Very chocolatey." Carter grinned, "But you'd need a bowl."

"We used spoons." Teal'c nodded.

Jack said, "I have to know what happened with the other batch. The thing with the eggs."

Teal'c held his head high and said, "I failed to insert the eggs properly into the batter."

"He threw them in whole and smashed them with a spoon." Daniel supplied, grinning.

Everyone laughed except Teal'c, although he appeared amused. "I shall not make such a mistake again."

Jack leaned back and asked, "So you think you'll be doing more baking, then, Teal'c?"

"I would very much like to do more baking." Teal'c nodded. "I was perusing our cookbook and found that there are many intriguing delicacies such as scones, pie, cakes, and cookies."

"Mmm I vote for pie." Jack said, then added, "Although I also love cake. So whatever you want to bake is fine with me, Teal'c."

"Cookies might be the simplest." Carter said, shooting him a warning look. Daniel didn't look quite so enthusiastic about the baking plans. She said encouragingly, "Cookies might be easier than the brownie, actually."

"About that." Jack said, looking at Daniel. "Why didn't you just go for the box mix?"

"Box mix?" Daniel asked, mystified.

"Yeah. You've never heard of a box mix?"

"Um, no, no I haven't."

Jack shook his head, "You didn't see them when you were in the baking aisle?"

"I wasn't looking for a box mix, Jack." Daniel said, "Besides, isn't that the same thing as store bought?"

Carter nodded, "Basically. You have to add the eggs and water or oil, but everything else is already mixed. It just makes it a bit easier."

"Easier might have been good." Daniel admitted. "We didn't really know what we were getting into."

"I remember the first time I made a brownie by myself." Carter smiled, "It did not turn out well. It looked like a chocolate swimming pool in the middle."

"Do a lot of baking, Carter?" Jack asked, somehow knowing the answer was no.

She shook her head. "Not really, sir. Not since high-school anyway. Once I started college…"

He held up a hand to shush her, "Oh I don't even want to hear about how busy you were, Carter. You and Daniel were the types that made guys like me look bad."

"I do not understand." Teal'c asked curiously. He had just returned from the kitchen where he'd retrieved the rest of the brownie. Scooping a large piece onto his plate he asked, "Why would CaptainCarter and DanielJackson make you look bad, O'Neill?"

Daniel piped up, "He doesn't mean us specifically. He just means that that some guys didn't study in school."

"Yep." Jack nodded, "And some people did nothing but study."

Carter frowned and reached for another piece of the brownie. "I had a social life."

"Uh huh." Jack was far from convinced.

"I didn't." Daniel admitted easily.

"See, at least he's honest, Carter." Jack said.

"What is a social life?" Teal'c inquired politely.

"Friends. Fun. Food. Drinking. Partying. Pizza." Jack listed off.

"Well, I did eat a lot of pizza." Daniel mused.

"I had friends." Carter said defensively. "I had fun in college."

"Didja now?" She looked sincere, but Jack had a feeling her idea of fun was a polar opposite of what his idea of fun would be. A snarky remark on the tip of his tongue, Jack was interrupted by Teal'c.

Teal'c asked, "Is this a social life, then?"

Jack exchanged glances with his teammates, then nodded, "Actually, yes it is, Teal'c."

"I approve of this social life." Teal'c said, rising.

"Where're you going?" Daniel asked in surprise.

"I believe I shall make some cookies and then we shall continue this social life. I am most interested in learning your customs." He smiled and walked out to the kitchen.

Carter's eyes were twinkling. She said, "I think I'll go help him."

"I'm ordering more pizza." Jack said, following her into the kitchen.

Daniel stared at the coffee table, littered with plates and forks and said to himself, "I think we're going to need more eggs."

**The End**

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**Hope you all enjoyed! Thanks for the lovely reviews! :D**


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